Friday, March 18, 2005

Ludwig Van Beethoven (When An Immortal Fell In Love)

July 6th, in the morning.

"My angel, my all, my very self - Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time - Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine - Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be - Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and you with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I - My journey was a fearful one"... "Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties - Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life - If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be"-

Your faithful Ludwig

Evening, Monday, July 6th

"You are suffering, my dearest creature - only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays - Thursdays - the only day on which the mail-coach goes from here to K. - You are suffering - Ah, wherever I am, you are with me - I will arrange it with you and me that I can live with you. What a life!!!! thus!!!! without you - pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and thither - which I as little want to deserve as I deserve it - Humility of man towards man - it pains me - and when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I and what is He - whom we call the greatest - and yet - herein lies the divine in man - I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first report from me until Saturday - Much as you love me - I love you more - But do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night - As I am taking the baths I must go to bed - Oh God - so near! so far! Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of Heaven?"

Good morning, on July 7th

"Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, not and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can only live wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the lands of spirits - Yes unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V[ienna] is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - at my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in out connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes everyday - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the l[etter] at once. - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve out purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. -Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of you beloved.
Ever thine Ever mine Ever ours."

5 Comments:

Blogger Eve said...

The Immortal Beloved!
The sweet painful agony of love!
Is it "the other" that we worship, or Love itself, with all its sufferings and confusions?
Is being away from "the beloved", a lover not yet possessed, the inexhaustible source of all passions?
Whatever the cause was, thx for sharing this wonderful masterpiece with us.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Maldoror said...

I guess it is a longing for understanding and sharing. But what I think is more important, is the way with which you deal with it. Just how far would you go?! Here lies the beauty of it all.

12:55 PM  
Blogger liminal said...

Not enough people consider theirselves in relation to the universe. Tragically, it may be the cause of many problems. More and more I believe this to be a quality of past times...then I see a sparkle of that spirit in music, art, literature, my relationships with others, and even complete randomness. Looking out the window can be as wonderous as travelling to far lands.

As tortured as I feel recently, I never forget how to breath, how to walk, how to love somebody. Without these things I could not possibly feel alive.

Of course, by virtue of such letters we may conclude Beethoven was an expert at each of these things and much more.

Mozart, on the other hand, was a genius...but a man-whore too.

gustav mahler is my favorite, though. maybe...

7:02 AM  
Blogger Maldoror said...

All things being said,
There's something magical about Beethoven's music; deeply human and outrageously immortal. Mahler's music is without any doubt inspiring, too. Apart from Beethoven, I'd more than gladly turn to Wagner when I need some inspiration.
Although learning how to love through Beethoven's music might be risky for us, learning how to forget through Wagner's music could be so envigourating! :)

9:07 AM  
Blogger mariloo said...

"My angel, my all, my very self, you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I.My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all.Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of Heaven? Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, not and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can only live wholly with you or not at all -No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves..." It is the same anguish experienced by lovers separated by fate all around the world... If u went thru it, may you never ever know it again as long as you live :)

10:32 PM  

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